I don’t remember exactly when I started searching “puppies for sale near me.”
Maybe it was the third night in a row I ate dinner in silence.
Maybe it was the Instagram story of my friend’s golden retriever curled in her lap while she read.
All I knew was this:
I was lonely.
Like, gut-level lonely.
The kind of lonely that sneaks up on you—not just from being alone, but from being unwitnessed. Untethered.
So, naturally, I thought:
A puppy will help.
Unconditional love. Wagging tail. Someone excited to see me when I walk in the door.
And honestly?
That’s not totally wrong.
But it’s also not the whole truth.
Because if you’re thinking about getting a puppy to fill a void—you deserve to know the other side too.
The First 48 Hours Felt Like Magic (And Then Reality Hit)
The day I picked up Luna, my 9-week-old lab mix, I felt something I hadn’t in months: hope.
She was soft and clumsy and smelled like milk and grass.
She curled up in my lap during the drive home and I cried—not from sadness, but from the kind of tenderness you forget the world still offers.
For those first two days, I posted her everywhere.
Instagram loved her.
Strangers DM’d me about how lucky I was.
My DMs filled. My dopamine spiked. My apartment felt full.
Then Day 3 hit.
She cried the entire night.
Peed on the rug five minutes after I took her outside.
Chewed through the charger I use for work.
Bit my hand hard enough to bleed while I tried to put her leash on.
And I—embarrassingly—sobbed in the kitchen at 3:17 a.m.
I thought getting a puppy would fix me.
I thought it would heal the ache.
Instead, it exposed how unequipped I was to care for something when I could barely care for myself.
Puppies Don’t Just Need Love—They Need Stability (And I Didn’t Have It)
There’s this myth on social media:
That if you’re sad, lonely, or craving connection, a puppy is a perfect solution.
And yes, dogs are incredible companions.
They really do offer that deep, wordless bond that humans sometimes can’t.
But they’re also not just comfort givers.
They’re tiny, untrained animals with wild instincts and zero ability to self-soothe.
They need:
-
A routine, even when you’re depressed
-
Patience, especially when you’re overstimulated
-
Consistency, even when you feel emotionally scattered
-
And most of all—someone who’s okay being needed back
And I wasn’t that person. Not yet.
The Loneliest I Felt Was After Getting Her
Here’s the part nobody tells you:
Getting a puppy when you're already emotionally depleted… can make you feel even more alone.
Because now:
-
You can’t stay out late to distract yourself
-
You can’t sleep in to escape
-
You can’t melt down without triggering your dog’s anxiety
Suddenly, I wasn’t just lonely.
I was overwhelmed and responsible.
I remember looking at Luna one night, pacing circles in the living room, tail wagging, eyes full of trust—and I whispered out loud:
“You deserve someone better than me.”
So What Did I Do?
I almost returned her.
Truly. I googled, “returning a puppy to breeder” more than once.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I did something harder:
I admitted I needed help.
I hired a trainer—not just for her, but for me.
I started therapy again.
I asked my sister to sleep over on the hard nights.
I joined a local dog meetup just so I wouldn’t feel like I was the only one Googling “is my puppy possessed.”
And little by little… we found our rhythm.
She started sleeping through the night.
I started trusting myself.
She learned to sit.
I learned not to unravel when she didn’t.
We both grew.
Final Truth: A Puppy Won’t Heal You—But It Can Grow With You
If you’re reading this while half-crying in a Chewy.com checkout cart… I get it.
You might want a dog to fill something empty inside you.
And that’s human.
That’s honest.
But please hear this from someone who’s been there:
Puppies aren’t emotional support systems. They’re living, breathing creatures who will love you fiercely—but also demand things you might not be ready to give.
And that’s okay.
If you’re not ready, you’re not broken.
If you do get one, and find yourself in over your head? That doesn’t make you a bad person.
It makes you real.
So ask for help.
Set up a plan.
Know that you’re not the only one trying to love something while still learning how to love yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment